es la noche de sexo

Watching TV today for a brief moment I realized how disgusted I am with how relationships are portrayed. Why are women and men attracted to the assholes? This phenomenon has gotten to the point where the more women are put down and treated like shit, the greater the attraction is.

There are many theories as to why some women prefer the verbal abuse to a stress free environment.

1. He's not really an asshole, he's a nice guy in disguise.
Sorry ladies (and gentleman) an asshole is usually (surprise surprise) an asshole. There is no mask, in fact he is usually the only type of man who shows his true colors right away. Thank him for his honesty and save yourself the hassle. If the first time you meet him you are annoyed with something he has sad, disgusted at how he treats women, furious at his demeanor. DON'T STICK AROUND. This is a precursor to your life together. RUN AWAY! Don't look back, pat yourself on the back for avoiding this pitfall that is the number 1.

Type of people who are usually an up-front asshole.
1. Guidos

If you're with a guido, you have more problems then just him being an asshole.
2. Frat guys, anyone with a "popped collar"

If he has a trucker hat, RUN AWAY. If you do manage to ignore these warning signs, prepare to enjoy a life of keggers, ashton kutcher jokes and soulja boy.


2. I can change him! The intellectual asshole.
Usually confused with number 1's theory. No you can't change him. If anything you're going to turn into a bitter, angry women who will punish all men in the future for trying to change this man. He might not start off as an asshole, you met him in your political science class. If he was arguing with the professor, yawning and making jokes at the professors lecture then obviously, he is an asshole. Discussion is fine, but general talking just to hear yourself talk means you're a douchebag. Dating this type of asshole will usually mean he will degrade you in front of his friends for not understanding Homi Bhabha*. Just avoid him at all costs, you're probably smarter and he's going to graduate with a degree in philosophy, don't worry, there are tons of philosophy jobs available.

1. Type of men who are usually intellectual assholes
- Men who carry messenger bags, if they are leather, run away.
- They are taking only philosphy, some literature class they don't need and political science classes because they want to make a difference.


3. The music snob
This last type of asshole is the kind that looks like an asshole from the beginning. However he will not come up front and show his true colors. He is a sneaky bastard, usually pretending to be a tortured musician* or music lover who is misunderstood because of his tattoos and way of dressing. He's just waiting for the right kind of girl who will listen to his 12" knife fight* limited pressing and will appreciate his suave record collection. Any chance of holding onto your individuality is gone with this asshole, before you know it you'll be wearing band tees, shopping at American Apparel and have at least one state tattoo with a heart around your city. ALSO, art students whose music section is "broken social scene, camera obscura, cat power, feist, new order, explosions in the sky". RUN AWAY.

Type of men to avoid
1. If he's wearing a hatebreed hoodie, RUN AWAY. Same goes for bane,madball.
2.


*** Disclaimer, the third type of asshole isn't usually hardcore. This type of guy can usually be into any kind of music.


Women, you've had your warnings. Im not going to generalize and assume every guy who fits this bill is an asshole, but most are. Trust your instincts, if it feels weird and you have dozens of red flags going off in your head, believe them.

* no one really understands Homi Bhabha
* These pictures are just pictures, I dont know if any of them are really assholes I can only assume.