sushi, lou rawls, nipples

Last Thursday (as in 2 days ago) I went to my best friends workplace, and hung out with her and watched her close shop. She works in a hipster part of town but still sort of dangerous (I don't know if that adds onto the hipster points or subtracts) and we're convinced its mildly haunted.

I met one of the regular customers, a mild mannered 27 year old medical coder who had medium length white socks on and shorts I was not enamored like my counterpart was with his dorky white socks and adorable short stature.

As she coincidentally finished cleaning up early we decided to go and eat sushi because what else does one do after they finish working at a hipster coffee place. We went to "The sushi place" (actual name im not that clever) and it's this tiny adorable place by all the bars. Immediately I saw it was prime spot to take your date if you wanted to impress him or her. We sat down and noticed that there were hyenas everywhere. The table next to us had at least 15+ girls screeching/laughing/gossiping which if you combine that noise you get a hyena who is being murdered slowly. We figured out that the one with the headband was the culprit of the noise, the new goal was now to kill headband girl. We planned on throwing chopsticks at her until she settled down but we realized we'd be kicked out and trampled by her sidekick(s) so we tried to tune out the pack but it was hard. I was getting irritated because this tiny place could not hold the sound decibels these women were producing. I feared for my life because frankly the doors were glass, the sushi producing thingamabob was glass and the table, GLASS.

The other patrons were getting annoyed you heard a few well placed "SHHHHHHH's" and the girls would turn, and instantly you felt 500 beady eyes staring at you wondering what YOUR problem was. To distract from my potential problem I noticed the couple to the right of me was on the most awkward date. Luckily I know how to ease drop and I was listening to them talk. Let me describe the situation in further detail:

Guy was wearing a button down green? red? I don't know shirt and his khaki pants were nearly raised up to his knees, way past his ankles so I realized taper city when he stood up (I would have been past delight and into the point of ecstasy if they had been high waters) but unfortunately they hit the top of his shoes like clockwork. I think he had penny loafers on, I don't know what penny loafers are for guys except I know if I saw them id be screaming "oh hey virgin whats up you wanna buy me a Shirley temple?" His date looked like a college sorority delphinium phi she had this brown shirt on and RED JEANS. I am probably colorblind as I believe everything matches with black but bitch plz, red jeans? Really? Going past her outfit I realized the stuff coming out of her mouth was PRICELESS.
"You know when I graduate what am I going to do? I cant just pour coffee for the rest of my life, I mean yeah I could...I had to work up the ladder to get to the position I am at. It's really hard out there!"

Our food came, it was delicious, I cant use chopsticks I figured out how to do it incorrectly, we had miso soup which was also delicious "It tastes like the sea!"

All in all good night. I will leave everyone with words from my mentor: I know how to bust a move!