pop my collar

I assume everyone understands my stance on camaro's, mustangs, and popped collars. Usually the owners of such things are douchebags. I will however say the first two I have met cool people who own both the Camaro and Mustang and I do not hate. However majority=douchebag.

I have been cursed, with the fact that people seem to see me and tell me the most intimate details of their lives. Usually its break up information and I am always willing to lend an ear, however my advice is rarely taken.

The other day coming out of my very early morning class I see a gentleman that I went to HS with and occasionally talk with, and by occasionally I mean we speak every once in a while and its usually "Hows school, how did you do on the test. " I lent him my notes once and in other countries note lending= friends 4ever.

He sits down and asks me if I have a minute, im doing homework but I did promise my probation officer I would be nicer and so begins my story. I realize that I give a lot of background information but I dont care.

I find out that
1. She broke up with him and is now dating someone else, he found out on facebook.
2. He was apparently going to "drop a bill" (I dont understand did he want her to pay a bill of his?) on her because he is now working.
3. When they would go to restaurants they would always offer them "the best wine" because they looked so much older than they are. They would ask them 'hey are you guys 24 and 25. He would laugh, I hope not revealing his true age because apparently they were both underage during this wine festival.
4. She is a crazy bitch, BUT HE MISSES HER.
5. He would tell her she was fat, and she should work out. From my facebook detective work I find out she is on the volleyball team.

"You're fat, maybe you should work out, I work out, I can bench two times my weight, IM IN THE BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE (thanks bowflex) I mean maybe you should work out and then throw up and then work out again."

He asked me what he did and how he could fix it, and I wanted to yell YOU'RE A DOUCHEBAG.

But I didnt. Instead I told him breakups take time and he should just give his heart time to heal.


Anyways entire time, he has his collar popped, I thought it was a mistake maybe in his grief he had forgotten how to wear a shirt but upon further examination I realized nope he likes to pop his collar.

And with that moment, I died a little on the inside.

Moral of the story? Dont pop your collar, oh and be a douchebag to your significant other.