I should not assume that because cough syrup is purple it will taste like grape. A better assumption is that the older you get cough syrup will taste fucking awful regardless of color.
While googling this medicine I found out that 1. It has codeine and will loosen up the junk in my lungs
2. At higher doses, this medication may also cause light-headedness, drowsiness, slowed breathing, and an exaggerated sense of well-being.
Here's to 'trippin balls' lol.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
the colt
Today I bought Anacin which is apparently caffeine+ aspirin!! So I am suppose to be hyper AND sans pain. As I spent 1.69 for four tiny pills of guaranteed greatness I did not bother to read the back which states:
DO NOT TAKE IF YOU HAVE ASTHMA. YOU WILL DIE!!!
Awesome.
/currently waiting impending death.
DO NOT TAKE IF YOU HAVE ASTHMA. YOU WILL DIE!!!
Awesome.
/currently waiting impending death.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
es la noche de sexo
Watching TV today for a brief moment I realized how disgusted I am with how relationships are portrayed. Why are women and men attracted to the assholes? This phenomenon has gotten to the point where the more women are put down and treated like shit, the greater the attraction is.
There are many theories as to why some women prefer the verbal abuse to a stress free environment.
1. He's not really an asshole, he's a nice guy in disguise.
Sorry ladies (and gentleman) an asshole is usually (surprise surprise) an asshole. There is no mask, in fact he is usually the only type of man who shows his true colors right away. Thank him for his honesty and save yourself the hassle. If the first time you meet him you are annoyed with something he has sad, disgusted at how he treats women, furious at his demeanor. DON'T STICK AROUND. This is a precursor to your life together. RUN AWAY! Don't look back, pat yourself on the back for avoiding this pitfall that is the number 1.
Type of people who are usually an up-front asshole.
1. Guidos
If you're with a guido, you have more problems then just him being an asshole.
2. Frat guys, anyone with a "popped collar"
If he has a trucker hat, RUN AWAY. If you do manage to ignore these warning signs, prepare to enjoy a life of keggers, ashton kutcher jokes and soulja boy.
2. I can change him! The intellectual asshole.
Usually confused with number 1's theory. No you can't change him. If anything you're going to turn into a bitter, angry women who will punish all men in the future for trying to change this man. He might not start off as an asshole, you met him in your political science class. If he was arguing with the professor, yawning and making jokes at the professors lecture then obviously, he is an asshole. Discussion is fine, but general talking just to hear yourself talk means you're a douchebag. Dating this type of asshole will usually mean he will degrade you in front of his friends for not understanding Homi Bhabha*. Just avoid him at all costs, you're probably smarter and he's going to graduate with a degree in philosophy, don't worry, there are tons of philosophy jobs available.
1. Type of men who are usually intellectual assholes
- Men who carry messenger bags, if they are leather, run away.
- They are taking only philosphy, some literature class they don't need and political science classes because they want to make a difference.
3. The music snob
This last type of asshole is the kind that looks like an asshole from the beginning. However he will not come up front and show his true colors. He is a sneaky bastard, usually pretending to be a tortured musician* or music lover who is misunderstood because of his tattoos and way of dressing. He's just waiting for the right kind of girl who will listen to his 12" knife fight* limited pressing and will appreciate his suave record collection. Any chance of holding onto your individuality is gone with this asshole, before you know it you'll be wearing band tees, shopping at American Apparel and have at least one state tattoo with a heart around your city. ALSO, art students whose music section is "broken social scene, camera obscura, cat power, feist, new order, explosions in the sky". RUN AWAY.
Type of men to avoid
1. If he's wearing a hatebreed hoodie, RUN AWAY. Same goes for bane,madball.
2.
*** Disclaimer, the third type of asshole isn't usually hardcore. This type of guy can usually be into any kind of music.
Women, you've had your warnings. Im not going to generalize and assume every guy who fits this bill is an asshole, but most are. Trust your instincts, if it feels weird and you have dozens of red flags going off in your head, believe them.
* no one really understands Homi Bhabha
* These pictures are just pictures, I dont know if any of them are really assholes I can only assume.
There are many theories as to why some women prefer the verbal abuse to a stress free environment.
1. He's not really an asshole, he's a nice guy in disguise.
Sorry ladies (and gentleman) an asshole is usually (surprise surprise) an asshole. There is no mask, in fact he is usually the only type of man who shows his true colors right away. Thank him for his honesty and save yourself the hassle. If the first time you meet him you are annoyed with something he has sad, disgusted at how he treats women, furious at his demeanor. DON'T STICK AROUND. This is a precursor to your life together. RUN AWAY! Don't look back, pat yourself on the back for avoiding this pitfall that is the number 1.
Type of people who are usually an up-front asshole.
1. Guidos
If you're with a guido, you have more problems then just him being an asshole.
2. Frat guys, anyone with a "popped collar"
If he has a trucker hat, RUN AWAY. If you do manage to ignore these warning signs, prepare to enjoy a life of keggers, ashton kutcher jokes and soulja boy.
2. I can change him! The intellectual asshole.
Usually confused with number 1's theory. No you can't change him. If anything you're going to turn into a bitter, angry women who will punish all men in the future for trying to change this man. He might not start off as an asshole, you met him in your political science class. If he was arguing with the professor, yawning and making jokes at the professors lecture then obviously, he is an asshole. Discussion is fine, but general talking just to hear yourself talk means you're a douchebag. Dating this type of asshole will usually mean he will degrade you in front of his friends for not understanding Homi Bhabha*. Just avoid him at all costs, you're probably smarter and he's going to graduate with a degree in philosophy, don't worry, there are tons of philosophy jobs available.
1. Type of men who are usually intellectual assholes
- Men who carry messenger bags, if they are leather, run away.
- They are taking only philosphy, some literature class they don't need and political science classes because they want to make a difference.
3. The music snob
This last type of asshole is the kind that looks like an asshole from the beginning. However he will not come up front and show his true colors. He is a sneaky bastard, usually pretending to be a tortured musician* or music lover who is misunderstood because of his tattoos and way of dressing. He's just waiting for the right kind of girl who will listen to his 12" knife fight* limited pressing and will appreciate his suave record collection. Any chance of holding onto your individuality is gone with this asshole, before you know it you'll be wearing band tees, shopping at American Apparel and have at least one state tattoo with a heart around your city. ALSO, art students whose music section is "broken social scene, camera obscura, cat power, feist, new order, explosions in the sky". RUN AWAY.
Type of men to avoid
1. If he's wearing a hatebreed hoodie, RUN AWAY. Same goes for bane,madball.
2.
*** Disclaimer, the third type of asshole isn't usually hardcore. This type of guy can usually be into any kind of music.
Women, you've had your warnings. Im not going to generalize and assume every guy who fits this bill is an asshole, but most are. Trust your instincts, if it feels weird and you have dozens of red flags going off in your head, believe them.
* no one really understands Homi Bhabha
* These pictures are just pictures, I dont know if any of them are really assholes I can only assume.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Brains! I want your brains!
I sometimes feel as if starting every blog with "I" is wrong HOWEVER, since this is mine I will hopefully start every post with I.
The Godfather has been said to be the greatest trilogy ever, I have decided that these people have not seen the greatest quadriology ever known to man.
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD pts 1, 2, 3, 4
Part 1: The Return of the Living dead (1985)
This, is by most accounts the best and brightest of the quadriology. It has punk rock zombies, lethal gas and nakedness (but only for a moment.) The music is awesome and the special effects-phenomenal. Not to mention the soundtrack, AMAZING.
1. "Surfin' Dead" - The Cramps
2. "Party Time" - 45 Grave
3. "Nothing For You" - T.S.O.L.
4. "Eyes Without A Face" - The Flesh Eaters
5. "Burn The Flames" - Roky Erickson
6. "Dead Beat Dance" - The Damned
7. "Take A Walk" - Tall Boys
8. "Love Under Will" - Jet Black Berries
9. "Tonight (We'll Make Love Until We Die)" - SSQ
10. "Trash's Theme" - SSQ
random fact: Some of the zombie extras were paid more to eat real calf brains in the film. Dan O'Bannon didn't want the actors to do anything he wasn't willing to do and ate some raw calf brains first in front of them.
Part 2: Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988)
This movie sort of picks up where the other one left off, ideally set in the same "town". Some kids unearth the toxic gas which brings the dead back to life. These zombies are smart and apparently it takes a bulldozer to kill them, decapitation only makes the brain eating take longer. It sort of lacks in the lol's but definitely brings along the cheese. Also, if anyone notices they reuse the same two characters
Random fact: The telephone number 311-555-8674 printed on the zombie canisters was a real life number at the time of production. The line was reserved for "Non-emergency special applications".
Part 3: Return of the Living Dead III (1995)
So by this time you'd think that they would know this toxic gas is bad for the general wellbeing of the world, but once again, an army mishap brings along the laughs as a young man tries to bring back his dead lover because he was too stupid to learn that driving fast on a motorcycle= death. He pains to bring her back to life but is shocked when she turns into a zombie. Oh the horror.
Memorable quotes: Curt Reynolds: Julie, are you eating him? You should stop it.
Part 4: So apparently there are actually 5 movies from this series, however the last 2 are stupid and should not be mentioned.
The Godfather has been said to be the greatest trilogy ever, I have decided that these people have not seen the greatest quadriology ever known to man.
Part 1: The Return of the Living dead (1985)
This, is by most accounts the best and brightest of the quadriology. It has punk rock zombies, lethal gas and nakedness (but only for a moment.) The music is awesome and the special effects-phenomenal. Not to mention the soundtrack, AMAZING.
1. "Surfin' Dead" - The Cramps
2. "Party Time" - 45 Grave
3. "Nothing For You" - T.S.O.L.
4. "Eyes Without A Face" - The Flesh Eaters
5. "Burn The Flames" - Roky Erickson
6. "Dead Beat Dance" - The Damned
7. "Take A Walk" - Tall Boys
8. "Love Under Will" - Jet Black Berries
9. "Tonight (We'll Make Love Until We Die)" - SSQ
10. "Trash's Theme" - SSQ
random fact: Some of the zombie extras were paid more to eat real calf brains in the film. Dan O'Bannon didn't want the actors to do anything he wasn't willing to do and ate some raw calf brains first in front of them.
Part 2: Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988)
This movie sort of picks up where the other one left off, ideally set in the same "town". Some kids unearth the toxic gas which brings the dead back to life. These zombies are smart and apparently it takes a bulldozer to kill them, decapitation only makes the brain eating take longer. It sort of lacks in the lol's but definitely brings along the cheese. Also, if anyone notices they reuse the same two characters
Random fact: The telephone number 311-555-8674 printed on the zombie canisters was a real life number at the time of production. The line was reserved for "Non-emergency special applications".
Part 3: Return of the Living Dead III (1995)
So by this time you'd think that they would know this toxic gas is bad for the general wellbeing of the world, but once again, an army mishap brings along the laughs as a young man tries to bring back his dead lover because he was too stupid to learn that driving fast on a motorcycle= death. He pains to bring her back to life but is shocked when she turns into a zombie. Oh the horror.
Memorable quotes: Curt Reynolds: Julie, are you eating him? You should stop it.
Part 4: So apparently there are actually 5 movies from this series, however the last 2 are stupid and should not be mentioned.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
motherfuckas
The last post I made I was complaining about a stupid truck who cut me off. Little did I know a few days later I would have walked away from one of the most awful accidents of my life.
I was in a head on collision a few days ago that I walked away from. It was awful, my friend (now sister for life)'s car was totaled and we unfortunately had to go in an ambulance to the hospital.
For a brief moment I thought I had died but then I remembered when you die, enya plays (I dont know if this is true but I'm assuming). Since I heard no enya I realized holy shit I am alive, and so is my friend. In the midst of the entire debacle that we were in we were lucky (and unlucky to be in that situation) that our ambulance emt guy was A FOX. I know in my state of shock I might overreact but if he had told me "hey do you want me to take advantage of you right now" I probably would have agreed wholeheartedly. Ann agreed also that he was gorgeous and I am still contemplating sending him a cookie cake. During the hospital ride apparently we kept asking a bunch of questions, I was a little miffed that we ended up getting the old guy, but he took good care of both of us.
We went to the hospital where Ann and I made a few more funnies to the hospital staff and I kept demanding to see Ann but in my debilitated state they gave me a shot of sweet sweet pain medicine that made me feel like dancing so I didn't get to see her till I was being discharged.
All in all, Ann and I have now become one person. One awfully cranky, bruised, burned, mean, HILARIOUS person. We are inseparable and invincible. I know most of my blog is a joke and filled with (what I believe) are funny parts of my life, but this is one post that will be 100 percent serious.
Wear your seatbelts, it saved our lives.
Blogger out.
I was in a head on collision a few days ago that I walked away from. It was awful, my friend (now sister for life)'s car was totaled and we unfortunately had to go in an ambulance to the hospital.
For a brief moment I thought I had died but then I remembered when you die, enya plays (I dont know if this is true but I'm assuming). Since I heard no enya I realized holy shit I am alive, and so is my friend. In the midst of the entire debacle that we were in we were lucky (and unlucky to be in that situation) that our ambulance emt guy was A FOX. I know in my state of shock I might overreact but if he had told me "hey do you want me to take advantage of you right now" I probably would have agreed wholeheartedly. Ann agreed also that he was gorgeous and I am still contemplating sending him a cookie cake. During the hospital ride apparently we kept asking a bunch of questions, I was a little miffed that we ended up getting the old guy, but he took good care of both of us.
We went to the hospital where Ann and I made a few more funnies to the hospital staff and I kept demanding to see Ann but in my debilitated state they gave me a shot of sweet sweet pain medicine that made me feel like dancing so I didn't get to see her till I was being discharged.
All in all, Ann and I have now become one person. One awfully cranky, bruised, burned, mean, HILARIOUS person. We are inseparable and invincible. I know most of my blog is a joke and filled with (what I believe) are funny parts of my life, but this is one post that will be 100 percent serious.
Wear your seatbelts, it saved our lives.
Blogger out.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Phat Lips
A few days ago I was driving to school, minding my own business singing along to Gogol Bordello when this hyped up over zealous white Ford 5150 with the balls hanging off of the back 
is suddenly speeding up and on its way to re-enacting a scene from (Ok I dont know any car movies where a gigantic stupid truck cuts off a mini van) but this asshole cut me off, and went out of his way to go over 80 in a section of road where the speed limit is 45. So as I am preparing to die an untimely fiery death a few things are running through my head:
1. Linkin Park is now playing, when the fire fighters come to get my mangled burnt but still adorable corpse out of the van are they going to think I am lame and then laugh at me.
2. Do I really want to die wearing this? I did not look cool that day.
3. I worked for 2 difficult weeks and I havent been paid yet, oh my god I worked for nothing those sons of bitches will have had free labor!
4. Does enya play when you die? I assume its something lame and flowy, anytime something sad happens they always go to enya.
And with that last thought I decided to live, however by this time the truck had passed me by and I was almost at school so the crisis was over.
But asshole, if you're reading this I hope you know that one day, a tough, yet sensual minivan is going to cut you off motherfucker. (expletives necessary for visual)
is suddenly speeding up and on its way to re-enacting a scene from (Ok I dont know any car movies where a gigantic stupid truck cuts off a mini van) but this asshole cut me off, and went out of his way to go over 80 in a section of road where the speed limit is 45. So as I am preparing to die an untimely fiery death a few things are running through my head:1. Linkin Park is now playing, when the fire fighters come to get my mangled burnt but still adorable corpse out of the van are they going to think I am lame and then laugh at me.
2. Do I really want to die wearing this? I did not look cool that day.
3. I worked for 2 difficult weeks and I havent been paid yet, oh my god I worked for nothing those sons of bitches will have had free labor!
4. Does enya play when you die? I assume its something lame and flowy, anytime something sad happens they always go to enya.
And with that last thought I decided to live, however by this time the truck had passed me by and I was almost at school so the crisis was over.
But asshole, if you're reading this I hope you know that one day, a tough, yet sensual minivan is going to cut you off motherfucker. (expletives necessary for visual)
Thursday, March 6, 2008
electronic with a salsa beat and 3 keyboards
Yesterday at work I had to monitor the halls while the kids took the TAKS test, They had from 830 in the morning to 230 in the afternoon to finish this exam. During that time they wanted me to stand out there and escort kids to the bathroom because TAKS= serious business. I was doing alright for the first hour and a half, I calculated how many cartwheels I'd be able to do down the long hallway (at least 10 but if I started correctly definitely 14-15) and I started thinking about what color I should dye my hair. Then I started planning my life and then I worried when I realized I was 21 and still in college, I can pretty much give myself a quarter life crisis any day of the week when I really try.
Around 10 am I had finally calmed down and wasn't really worried about my life or how it hasn't really started so then of course, as if on schedule I started to worry and initially have a mini panic attack. Is this what prison is like? I'm sure in prison they aren't confined to 3 feet and made to sit down every single time you got close to walking a bit PAST the hall, by the evil Social Studies teacher who has been there for 57 years. At least in prison you get to have fights and get awesome prison tats (I want my last name in old english covered with cry now/laugh later faces.) Actually I think prison would be worse but it took all my strength not to walk down the stairs and run for freedom, to frolick in the grass and then die a little because it's allergy season.
I've been having extremely vivid dreams lately, I wonder if they are some sort of omen? I guess I should be worried, in most of the dreams they are showing me ALMOST die which makes me sad cause each way is really lame and I really doubt I'm going to be eaten by sharks or be trampled at a Hanson concert. Oh god I could be trampled at a Hanson concert they are popping up everywhere.
I miss my youth.
Around 10 am I had finally calmed down and wasn't really worried about my life or how it hasn't really started so then of course, as if on schedule I started to worry and initially have a mini panic attack. Is this what prison is like? I'm sure in prison they aren't confined to 3 feet and made to sit down every single time you got close to walking a bit PAST the hall, by the evil Social Studies teacher who has been there for 57 years. At least in prison you get to have fights and get awesome prison tats (I want my last name in old english covered with cry now/laugh later faces.) Actually I think prison would be worse but it took all my strength not to walk down the stairs and run for freedom, to frolick in the grass and then die a little because it's allergy season.
I've been having extremely vivid dreams lately, I wonder if they are some sort of omen? I guess I should be worried, in most of the dreams they are showing me ALMOST die which makes me sad cause each way is really lame and I really doubt I'm going to be eaten by sharks or be trampled at a Hanson concert. Oh god I could be trampled at a Hanson concert they are popping up everywhere.
I miss my youth.
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